Parts of Growth that REALLY Upset Me...Part 1

The more I grow spiritually, I find that there are aspects of this journey that although painful are very necessary. I wanted to encourage anyone growing to keep going!

So, this is Part 1 of  3 of a series called: Parts of Growing Spiritually that REALLY Upset Me

Part 1: That's Not Good Enough...Not Anymore

A long time ago (Not really) I used to substitute places where God should be with other things. You know, like how when you should be praying for peace, but you drink a whole bottle of wine to subside mental frustration instead. Yea, that was me.

Remember the outsourcing I talked about in another post, well I had a remedy for just about everything. Social Media for ego boosting, male companionship for my inability to be alone, and clubbing to escape my reality.

But then, there was this change in me. Those things didn't work anymore, they weren't good enough anymore.   

I was reminded of a song by Charles Butler and Trinity called "More Than Enough"...there's this part that goes "I tried him, and I found out, that Jesus, is more than enough for meeeee"....I absolutely love that song, I've actually loved it for a while, but I love it a little more now, it means a little more now...

When I used to sing it I meant it but I didn't understand it. Kind of like when you said "I Love You" in kindergarten to some kid on the playground...oh , you meant it, but you really didn't understand the magnitude of what you were saying. That's how I used to sing that song, and then one day...I actually meant it. But not only did I mean it, I actually messed around and really "tried him".

When I opened up myself to really growing, God created in me a need to grow my problem solving techniques. The peace and presence that comes with prayer can not be rivaled by any vice....and that upset me.

It's so very easy to want to go back to what used to work! It really upset me that I couldn't smooth over my inadequacies with activities that gave me momentary relief, it upset me that I really had to push through and be better, I had to face things head on and allow God to deal with them.

When you get to that point there's no going back. When you outgrow the shoe you were wearing at 5, you don't put it back on when you're 10...it just doesn't feel right....and that's ok, because the new shoe was made specifically for you. 

I'm learning that a part of growing spiritually is outgrowing naturally. It get's uncomfortable, but it's rewarding, and I'm cool with that :)